ClownSec Appoints Former District Attorney To Clownhood
Clownsec appoints former deputy prosecutor, Marcie Wogan leadership team.
Earlier today, Zile Ohai, vice-president of being very pretty for UniteBlue broke the story that former deputy district attorney, Marcie Sweren Wogan had joined Clownsec. In response, Clownsec issued the following release:
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Philadelphia, PA – May 26, 2015
Ron Mickel, CEO and director of faggotry for Clownsec is pleased to announce the appointment of former deputy district attorney, Marcie Wogan to the ranks of Clownsec on Twitter.
“We believe Ms. Wogan is by far the logical choice as we move forward with our Twitter strategy,” said Mickel. “We’ve been watching her career closely for several years and feel that her legal background, as well as her obvious substance abuse makes her a perfect fit with our organization.”
Wogan will be joining the team that includes clown industry leaders such as AssClown, ShinglesClown, EvilzClown, Schizoemoclown, BootyClown, and MsAssClown.
“I am exshatic (sic) at being chosen to bre (sic) a part of Clownsec,” said Wogan. “My frormer (sic) boss Jerry (former D.A., the late Jerry Barnes) alrays (sic) said I could be so much more than a deputy D.A. I think he always knew I was reawy (sic) a clown iside (sic).
According to Clownsec, there are no immediate plans to relocate Ms. Wogan to Clownsec’s corporate headquarters in Philadelphia and she will continue to work from her Lutherville-Timonium home.
Not all of Clownsec’s critics are as impressed with the announcement, including Twitter CEO Dick Costello.
“Oh, Jesus Christ,” remarked a visibly exasperated Costello, “This is what these idiots do with the cutting-edge social media tool I’ve devoted my career to building? Have they tried Instagram? I hear it’s pretty cool.”
Wogan’s ex-husband, John, and son J.B. did not return our calls.