According to the website, thomasretzlaff.com, Thomas Retzlaff was arrested in 1997 for “acts of pedophilia against children, including his own”.
As fate would have it, Retzlaff was incarcerated on April Fools Day in 1998. The court had been lenient with him for several prior crimes but when he again ended up in front of a judge they combined all his charges:
- having a concealed weapon on elementary school property
- tampering/fabricating physical evidence
- sell/distribution/display of harmful material to a minor
- violating a protective order
- assault/rape/bodily harm against a protected party.
The judge gave Retzlaff a sentence of 8 years. Tommy, a jail house lawyer, filed a lawsuit and was released on a technicality two years early. Since leaving prison he’s continued his errant ways; posing as a much decorated war veteran, impersonating an FBI agent and impersonating a lawyer. Besides his ongoing court battle with James McGibney aka Bullyville, Retzlaff is probably best known for using a hidden camera to take nude pictures of his daughter and posting them on the internet.
Retzlaff is due in California court November 2nd for a trial by jury but he’s stated he has no plans to show up. Instead of facing the legal system like an adult, Tommy prefers to stay at home and exact revenge by posting mean articles and death threats on his blog.
Because of course, mean posts and death threats on a blog are very scary. Especially those written by a couch potato who gets turned on by prepubescent children and uses Crisco to masturbate while watching a video tape of himself sodomizing his own wife.
Thomas Retzlaff resides in Phoenix Arizona. Beware of him, he is alleged to be illegally armed, a serial stalker and violent.
Loretta Lynn, once a spokesperson for Crisco Shortening, was Tommy’s favorite singer.