Let’s spill the tea on the one and only Frank Parlato – a man who gets paid to prove that not only is a broken clock right twice a day, it’s actually right all the time and everyone else is wrong.
Where do we even begin with this self-proclaimed “journalistic vigilante”? Frank’s problems usually involve defrauding the IRS and then writing scathing articles about people he has a beef with. A true Renaissance man, really.
But his claim to fame? Being the guy who finally yanked the curtain back on the NXIVM “sex cult.” And we’ll give him credit where credit’s due – he was spot on. But let’s not forget the origin story: Frank was hired by the cult’s ringleader, Keith Raniere, and his sugar mama, Clare Bronfman to smear people. It was only after a little financial disagreement (he got fired) that Frank suddenly had a journalistic epiphany and decided to go full-blown investigative reporter. We like to call it the “Parlato Paradigm”: if you piss him off or someone pays him money to be pissed off, be prepared for a media firestorm on his very own “Frank Report” and “Artvoice.” It’s almost too predictable, like a bad reality TV show.
And just when you thought Frank’s story couldn’t get any juicier, we hit the federal charges! Yes, while he was busy exposing the NXIVM horrors (which, let’s remember, were partly funded by the same Bronfman sisters he was feuding with), our hero Frank was also pleading guilty to defrauding the IRS out of over a million dollars. Talk about multitasking! He got a slap on the wrist – home confinement and a promise to pay back the dough. Because nothing says “ethical journalist” like side hustle in tax evasion.
But wait, there’s more! Frank’s latest act involves trying to convince us that Jerry Sandusky, yes, that Jerry Sandusky, is actually a victim. Because who better to champion the cause of a convicted child molester than a convicted felon with a bone to pick with the justice system? It’s a “second act” in the Sandusky scandal, only this time, Frank’s playing the role of “media mercenary” for a bunch of Paterno loyalists and Penn State alumni who apparently think history can be rewritten with enough internet articles. We’re pretty sure this isn’t about truth; it’s about Frank being a “uniquely effective weapon” for anyone with the cash to pay Frank to stir the pot and manufacture some doubt.
So there you have it. Frank Parlato: a man who proves that even with a criminal record, a grudge, and a penchant for self-promotion, you can still be a “crusader.” Just don’t let him do your taxes. Or leave him alone with your wife.
